The administrative tasks, emotional journey, and resources that help you move forward
Part 1 and Part 2 of this series covered legal frameworks and financial implementation. But divorce involves more than a judgment and decree (J&D) and account division; it requires you to rebuild your everyday life. In this article (the third and final one of the series), attorney Lindsey O’Connell of Tuft, Lach, Jerabek & O’Connell, PLLC (Tuft Lach) offers tips for practical life management and emotional well-being.
The Administrative Details
The post-divorce process is filled with tedious (but necessary) tasks:
- Taking names off of joint accounts
- Removing ex-spouses as authorized users on credit cards
- Separating business bank accounts, if applicable
As you may already have discovered, this process comes with a very real challenge: financial institutions don’t care what your J&D says. They care only about who’s on the account.
The name-change process is another key administrative detail. You should double-check the spelling of your name and the entry date on your certificate of dissolution. From there, if you plan to change your name, you’ll go through the Social Security Administration.
Next comes updating your name on your driver’s license, passport, and bank accounts. Remember to use your legal name when filing your tax return!
If you think that process sounds overwhelming, you’re not alone. Mallory Kretman, a wealth manager at Laurel Wealth Planning, has created a comprehensive name-change checklist to help new divorcees complete this administrative phase.
Who Does What?
You, your attorney, and your financial advisor all have distinct roles and responsibilities when it comes to handling administrative details.
One party often takes the lead. This can mimic marriage dynamics and make the process less efficient overall. To avoid confusion and missed steps, attorney Lindsey O’Connell recommends getting clear on who is responsible for what:
- Attorneys handle major legal items like house titling and qualified domestic relations order (QDRO) processes.
- Financial advisors coordinate account splits and money transfers, and they provide backdoor knowledge of financial institutions.
- Clients are responsible for tasks like contacting institutions and closing accounts.
When you’re emotionally exhausted from going through a divorce, it’s understandable to want to leave the logistical work to someone else. “Some clients start to think their attorney is going to close credit cards or retitle cars for them,” says O’Connell. “But now it’s your turn. You’re the driver, and you have to do it.”
Even though much of the legwork falls on the client, Laurel Wealth Planning is there to assist. Experienced financial advisors can help coordinate tasks so that important things don’t fall through the cracks.
The Emotional Journey
Divorce is both a financial and emotional journey, and for most people, it’s an exhausting one.
Healing from divorce isn’t linear either. You might feel relief mixed with grief even if the divorce was something you wanted. “It’s a mix,” O’Connell explains. “A lot of it’s bittersweet, sometimes devastating, but some days feel hopeful.”
A strong support system is essential to building your life post-divorce. Your support system might include:
- Your therapist
- Adult children, siblings, parents, and other family members
- Friends
- Church or community groups
- Your professional team, such as your attorney, financial advisor, and CPA
O’Connell says that clients often get creative when it comes to finding ways to cope, and she endorses “whatever helps you process and move forward” from your divorce. For example, she’s seen some clients have “burn parties” where they get together with friends and burn photos.
Building Your New Balance Sheet
Eventually, it becomes time to stop focusing on your divorce and start focusing on your life. “You’ve been looking at the divorce balance sheet for months,” O’Connell says. “Now you get to build the balance sheet that’s your life. It’s a perspective shift.”
But what does that look like in practice? For many clients, building a new balance sheet means taking stock of what they own, what they owe, and where they’re headed next. It’s a process that comes with both uncertainty and opportunity.
If you’re in this phase of the post-divorce process, Laurel Wealth Planning might be able to help. When you’re working with an experienced financial advisor, it becomes easier to build a long-term plan and envision a clear path forward.
Divorce: The Beginning of the Rest of Your Life
Divorce creates an opportunity to take your life in a new direction. Most importantly, follow your J&D, which outlines all the terms of your divorce, including child support, division of assets, and spousal maintenance. Its conclusions of law are your checklist. Go through it step by step to make sure you’re meeting your obligations.
But also remember that each step you take is more than checking off a box; you’re building a life. You’ve done the hardest part, so give yourself some grace while handling the details.
If you’re going through a divorce and need legal guidance, Tuft Lach can help. For financial guidance, Laurel Wealth Planning LLC offers free initial consultations.
To schedule a complimentary meeting, email laurel.wealthplanning@laurelwealthplanning.com, get in touch online, or call (952) 854-6250. Find out if the Laurel Wealth Planning team is the right financial advisor for you based on your wants and needs.
Frequently Asked Questions
What should I do after a divorce is finalized?
After a divorce is finalized, many people need to focus on administrative tasks such as updating account ownership, removing an ex-spouse from financial accounts, and changing their name on legal documents if applicable. It can also be helpful to review your financial picture and begin organizing your new income, expenses, and long-term goals as you transition into the next phase of life.
How do I manage finances and accounts after divorce?
Managing finances after divorce often includes separating joint accounts, updating beneficiaries, closing shared credit lines, and retitling assets based on the divorce agreement. Because financial institutions typically follow account ownership rather than legal agreements, it’s important to complete these steps directly with each institution. Some individuals choose to work with a financial advisor, such as Laurel Wealth Planning, to help coordinate these changes.
How can I adjust emotionally and practically after divorce?
Adjusting after divorce can involve both practical steps and emotional support. Many people find it helpful to build a support system that may include family, friends, or professional resources like therapists or advisors. Over time, shifting focus from the divorce process to rebuilding your daily routine and long-term plans can help create a sense of stability and direction moving forward.
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