The moment the judge signs your judgment and decree, you might expect to feel pure relief. For many people, it’s more complicated than that. After a divorce, it’s normal to feel emotionally exhausted, but there’s still work to be done.
No one knows that better than Allyson Kerr. Kerr is a Super Lawyers® Rising Star attorney at Tuft, Lach, Jerabek & O’Connell, PLLC (Tuft Lach), a firm based in Maplewood, Minnesota. As a leading Minnesota family law firm, Tuft Lach is dedicated to providing skillful, creative, and ethical representation while guiding families through difficult transitions with care and compassion.
When speaking of the first few months after divorce, Kerr says, “I think after the divorce is finalized, clients feel like, ‘It’s done. I don’t want to do anything else. I don’t want to look at this.’ But there are usually several pieces that still need to be figured out.”
Kerr shares more insights throughout this article, the first in a three-part series covering legal, financial, and practical life transitions after divorce, with insights from experienced attorneys in the field.
The Biggest Challenge? Staying Motivated
People struggle to complete post-divorce tasks for many different reasons:
- They’re mentally and emotionally exhausted from divorce proceedings.
- The remaining work (like retirement division and titling assets) seems daunting.
- They’re experiencing “fee fatigue” from paying so many professionals.
- They face a steep learning curve for tasks they’ve never handled before.
“There’s still usually several pieces that need to be figured out,” Kerr says, “like titling or division of retirement accounts, or if somebody needs a name change. I think it’s a little hard for people to stay motivated to fully cross the finish line because they’ve done a lot of the hard work already.”
If you’re struggling to get through the next steps after divorce, don’t be discouraged. Understanding what needs to happen is the first step toward actually doing it.
Your Judgment and Decree Serves As Your Checklist
Your divorce judgment and decree (J&D) can serve as your post-divorce action plan, but summoning the energy to start can be tough.
Kerr explains, “I think it’s just really mentally preparing. There’s probably three to four more months’ work to be done. It’s not as intense as before, but there are still things to follow up on with your attorney.”
Are you struggling to turn your J&D into action? Kerr offers the following tips:
- Read it multiple times to catch anything you missed.
- Focus on the most critical steps, such as updating beneficiaries, dividing retirement accounts, and titling your home.
- Don’t forget often-overlooked items like health insurance transitions.
Your attorney and financial advisor can offer valuable guidance as you navigate these steps. Attorneys at firms like Tuft Lach can create legal checklists, while financial advisors at Laurel Wealth Planning may draft complementary financial implementation checklists.
What Happens When You Delay?
It might be tempting to drag your feet, but procrastination has real consequences.
“If you don’t divide your retirement accounts right away and come back 20 years later, it’s hard,” Kerr shares. “And the name change is just such a hassle. Sometimes people only get halfway through the process and then just say, ‘No one’s checking.’ But then, when you go to do your Social Security, you’ve got a big issue.”
Those aren’t the only consequences you could face. Failing to re-title your house after divorce can cause problems when you try to sell. And if you don’t update beneficiary designations, your ex could inherit your retirement accounts after your death.
The Role of Your Support Team
Don’t underestimate the importance of both an experienced financial advisor and a divorce attorney.
Laurel Wealth Planning works alongside attorneys to help clients navigate post-divorce finances. “Working with a financial advisor can help you set a reasonable budget and verify you’re saving enough for retirement,” Kerr says. “The more you know, the less scary it is.”
Kerr also stresses the importance of emotional support during this difficult time. “If you’re seeing a mental health provider, continuing that for several months can add some continuity,” she says. “A lot of people think the first part of the divorce takes the biggest emotional toll, but it goes on for a while. It’s good to have that support in place.”
Discover Life After Divorce
Divorce is exhausting, but the critical work you do in the first 90 days lays the foundation for the rest of your life.
Tuft Lach and Laurel Wealth Planning LLC are here to help you. In the next installment in this series, we will cover practical financial implementation steps.
Find out whether the Laurel Wealth Planning team is the right financial advisor for you based on your wants and needs. To schedule a complimentary meeting to discuss post-divorce financial planning, email laurel.wealthplanning@laurelwealthplanning.com, get in touch online, or call (952) 854-6250.
Frequently Asked Questions
What should I do first after my divorce is finalized?
After a divorce is finalized, the most important next step is to review your judgment and decree carefully and begin implementing its terms. This often includes dividing retirement accounts, retitling assets like your home or vehicles, updating beneficiaries, and addressing health insurance changes. Completing these steps promptly helps prevent legal, tax, and financial complications down the road.
What happens if I delay financial or legal tasks after divorce?
Delaying post-divorce tasks can create serious problems later. Retirement accounts may be harder to divide, name changes can complicate Social Security or passport updates, and outdated beneficiary designations could unintentionally leave assets to an ex-spouse. Addressing these items within the first few months after divorce helps shield your long-term financial stability.
Do I need a financial advisor after a divorce?
Many people benefit from working with a financial advisor after divorce, especially during the first 90 days. A financial advisor can help you understand your new cash flow, create a realistic budget, plan for retirement on a single income, and coordinate next steps with your attorney. Having professional guidance often makes the transition feel more manageable and less overwhelming.
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